Sneakers and Stick-to-it-iveness

My youngest is 3 now and a few months ago he started exhibiting some pretty irrational behavior characteristics.  I know he’s testing the boundaries of his environment and the adults in his life, but it’s driving the whole family nuts at times.  For example:

My little guy's "daily drivers."

Situation: 3 year old desperately needs new shoes. He’s got one pair of sandals that he wears EVERY day and his feet are growing faster than cucumbers in the garden! He only has one pair of shoes because, since turning 3, he fights and screams if he has to try on shoes. His big brother (6) on the other hand has his eye on a new pair of Nikes and would be happy as a pig in poop to have 15 pairs in his shoe bin! 

Now, other moms of boys can relate, one pair of shoes for a rough and tumble, three year old boy just isn’t practical. Not to mention, what summertime does to the freshness (NOT!) of shoes.

Scene: Stride Rite children’s shoe store on a Saturday afternoon, full of customers

On the way into the store he spots a sports car kiddie ride and wants a ride. I tell him that if he cooperates and let’s mommy try  new shoes on him without screaming and crying, then we’ll run right out to the ride and put him on! He happily agrees and bounds toward the shoe store with enthusiasm.

   How it went down:  At first he gets his feet measured with no problem, happy even. Then, seemingly full of optimism and enthusiasm, he starts pulling shoeboxes off the shelves, opening each one, and leaving them on the floor, while I hunt for sneaks in his size. I let it go, since he’s being quiet and there isn’t too big a pile for me to re-stack. I think, “things are going pretty good.”  I find three pair that have potential. I should note that he has a Wide to Extra Wide foot, so there isn’t a plethora of options.

When I ask him to sit on the bench to try them on, this is when it all went downhill. He resorted to screaming and stiff-body, back-arching with crocodile tears. If I didn’t know better (I have a background in special education) I’d think something was wrong. 

  

Do they fit or not?

 As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t give in to him  and walk out of the store without shoes. He NEEDED them.  After about 20 minutes of embarrassment, and reminding him that all he had to do was try on a pair calmly until we found one that fit so he could ride the ride, I picked a pair of “Slingshots”  that were the same as he’d had in the past but in his current size. As soon as I put his sandals back on (yes, he was wearing socks) the                 screaming stopped and calmness reigned. 

I know what you’re thinking. The shoes must have been uncomfortable in some way. Well, I hadn’t ruled that out, but in similar situations he’s done a 180 degree change of attitude. So, the next night we went to the local playground to burn off some energy.  I told him he HAD to wear the sneakers if he wanted to play.  He screamed in the car all the way there and stood still next to me on the playground complaining about the shoes and threatening to take them off for a half-hour! Now I’m really thinking that they must hurt in some way. Honestly, I’m thinking “crap, was this the explanation of his irrational shoe store behavior? And, am I an idiot for not giving that option more consideration?”

Well, well. After that half hour of threats and whining, he ran off climbing and jumping like an Olympian and never once complained about the sneaks hurting. He even asked to wear them to daycare the next morning!  Thank goodness I hadn’t given in to his tantrums. The painful hour spent buying the shoes and the frustrating experience of explaining and reasoning with him to try to make him understand, had yielded a positive result!

I think I’m on the right track, but...

                                                            dang I’m tired.  
(Originally posted Aug. 14, 2012)