My youngest is 3
now and a few months ago he started exhibiting some pretty irrational behavior
characteristics. I know he’s testing the boundaries of his environment and the
adults in his life, but it’s driving the whole family nuts at times. For
example:
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| My little guy's "daily drivers." |
Situation: 3 year old desperately needs new shoes. He’s got one pair
of sandals that he wears EVERY day and his feet are growing faster than
cucumbers in the garden! He only has one pair of shoes because, since turning 3,
he fights and screams if he has to try on shoes. His big brother (6) on the
other hand has his eye on a new pair of Nikes and would be happy as a pig in
poop to have 15 pairs in his shoe bin!
Now, other moms of boys can relate, one pair of shoes
for a rough and tumble, three year old boy just isn’t practical. Not to mention,
what summertime does to the freshness (NOT!) of
shoes.
Scene: Stride Rite children’s shoe store on a Saturday afternoon, full of
customers
On the way into the store he spots a sports car kiddie
ride and wants a ride. I tell him that if he cooperates and let’s mommy try new
shoes on him without screaming and crying, then we’ll run right out to the ride
and put him on! He happily agrees and bounds toward the shoe store with
enthusiasm.
How it went down: At first he gets
his feet measured with no problem, happy even. Then, seemingly full of optimism
and enthusiasm, he starts pulling shoeboxes off the shelves, opening each one,
and leaving them on the floor, while I hunt for sneaks in his size. I let it go,
since he’s being quiet and there isn’t too big a pile for me to re-stack. I
think, “things are going pretty good.” I find three pair that have potential. I
should note that he has a Wide to Extra Wide foot, so there isn’t a plethora of
options.
When I ask him to
sit on the bench to try them on, this is when it all went downhill. He resorted
to screaming and stiff-body, back-arching with crocodile tears. If I didn’t know
better (I have a background in special education) I’d think something was wrong.
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| Do they fit or not? |
As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t give in to him and
walk out of the store without shoes. He NEEDED them. After about 20 minutes of
embarrassment, and reminding him that all he had to do was try on a pair calmly
until we found one that fit so he could ride the ride, I picked a pair of
“Slingshots”
that were the same as he’d had in the past but
in his current size. As soon as I put his sandals back on (yes, he was wearing
socks) the screaming stopped and calmness reigned.
I know what you’re
thinking. The shoes must have been uncomfortable in some way. Well, I hadn’t
ruled that out, but in similar situations he’s done a 180 degree change of
attitude. So, the next night we went to the local playground to burn off some
energy. I told him he HAD to wear the sneakers if he wanted to play. He screamed
in the car all the way there and stood still next to me on the playground
complaining about the shoes and threatening to take them off for a half-hour!
Now I’m really thinking that they must hurt in some way. Honestly, I’m thinking
“crap, was this the explanation of his irrational shoe store behavior? And, am I
an idiot for not giving that option more consideration?”
Well, well. After
that half hour of threats and whining, he ran off climbing and jumping like an
Olympian and never once complained about the sneaks hurting. He even
asked to wear them to daycare the next morning! Thank goodness I hadn’t
given in to his tantrums. The painful hour spent buying the shoes and the
frustrating experience of explaining and reasoning with him to try to make him
understand, had yielded a positive result!
I think I’m on the
right track, but...
dang I’m tired.
(Originally posted Aug. 14, 2012)
